No one likes to be told they are stupid, or mean, and no one wants to feel like someone hates them. It usually results in feeling somewhat like this:

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See also: Me when they cancelled Firefly.


The way we speak in relation to our games is important. Being mindful of tone when speaking out of character can drastically improve your experience in both areas. Being sure to use the right terms and tone of language out of character can help make stressful situations go smoothly and leave everyone involved happy. On the opposite side of that, using the wrong tone or words can turn a neutral situation into a stressful one for everyone involved. Taking the time to pay attention to how things are said will be beneficial to you. These articles aim to help you conquer one of the topics that is the most harmful to out of character interactions: the language you use. Today we will discuss the language should use to clearly separate your character’s thoughts and feelings from your own when discussing them with other players.


Subjective, Possessive and Objective Language

Here is a quick English lesson to start this section out. Subjective language is when you use I/we to define the subject of the sentence. “We should eat ice cream” uses subjective language to convey the subject is the self, or a group including the self. Possessive language uses my/your to define the subject, such as “My shoes match your jacket.” Objective language defines the subject with his/hers/theirs, and refers to a subject that isn’t the speaker or the listener, or a possession of either of them. “His dog is cute” would be an example of objective language use. Using the correct language is important to managing out of character relationships, and we’ll be going over some examples below. In the examples below, your character will be named “Taylor” and the other example player will be named “Janet”, with her character being named “Kara”.


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…and now, for advanced math. I hope you studied!



Let’s say that your character Taylor absolutely despises Janet’s character Kara, and you wanted to talk about the situation with other players. If you use subjective language, you’d be saying “I hate Kara” which could make Janet think that her character wasn’t any good and she may stop playing the character or the game as a whole. Even worse is saying “I hate you” when talking to Janet directly. If Janet didn’t know you were talking about your character, she could take this as you meaning that YOU the player hates Janet the player and that could leave her feeling upset and make her dislike you as a person.  Even in situations where Janet is clear that you are speaking about your characters, the fact you are not taking the time to make the distinction in your wording may make her feel like you don’t care much about the distinction.



If you were to use possessive language, such as “Taylor hates Kara” then Janet the player would be much more receptive to the conversation, and that would lead to a much healthier dialogue between the two of you. By speaking with possessive language to refer to your character, their thoughts, and their feelings you create a barrier between yourself and your character. Having this barrier lets people know that you as a person do not dislike them and allows players who play even the most bitter hateful rivals in game be civil and cordial out of game. Referring to your character’s opinions this way also helps you as a player keep those opinions separate from your own.  That separation is both necessary and healthy, especially if you play for bleed.



Objective language can be tricky because it needs to be used in addition to possessive language. “I think his character is not very smart” is a combination of objective and subjective language. Phrases like this could still lead that other player into thinking you as a person think that his character is dumb, and possibly lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Using objective language with possessive language clearly defines the meaning of the sentence, for example “Taylor thinks that his character is not very smart.” In that sentence you are saying that your character Taylor thinks that another player’s character isn’t very smart, and that is all.


Clear and concise language reduces the chance for hurt feelings.  Remember to use possessive language when referring to your own characters thoughts and feelings, and you will be seen as a much more mature and respectable player. Look for part two tomorrow where we’ll be discussing the differences between the phrases “Player versus Player” and “Character versus Character.”

Anna is an avid LARPer, and on weekend when she isn’t being a vampire she treks out to the woods to beat up her friends with assorted plumbing supplies and birdseed. Outside of LARP Anna is a feminist and part of the LGBTQ* community, and is the proud owner of two loving cats, and another that’s kind of mean but loves her anyway (probably). She can be found on Twitter at


Have you ever looked at someone walking down the street and thought about how they look like they should be a character in a video game?

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This guy gives cloth collection quests, obviously for those awesome jackets.

In a LARP set in the modern day, or just  one that uses modern day styled clothing, it can be hard to make a costume that stands out from your everyday wear without breaking the bank. Buying nice clothing for your character can be a good way to costume, but not every gamer has that kind of budget. Luckily for those of us not as rich as our characters, there are easy ways to make a costume from everyday items without taking out a second mortgage.


Dress Differently Than Normal

Wearing clothes you as a player wouldn’t normally wear can go a long way to making an easy costume.

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Left: European X-Men recruit Right: California New Age Hippie

If you play a particularly feminine character, consider wearing a skirt or clothing with a more feminine cut such as a flowing blouse. If you often wear your favorite color blue, consider dressing primarily in other colors for your character. If you primarily wear graphic tees from your favorite rock bands, consider playing a character that would choose to wear clothes that fall into the “business casual” style of dress or a graphic tee that you wouldn’t normally be caught dead wearing. By wearing different clothing than you do in your day-to-day life, you will create a new look for the people that you game with which shows that while you might be in jeans and a graphic tee, you are clearly dressed as a different person.  If you choose to costume this way, make sure you are consistent, and try to stick to the same general themes.


Wear Something AWFUL

This sweater is ugly, and that is great for a costume.
Grandma’s 1987 Mardi Gras Jacket


Think of the clothes you see at the thrift store that no one ever buys: the bright red corduroy pants, the tacky Christmas vests depicting Santa’s flight, and the poofy, gold sequined 1976 formal wear. All of these seem horrendously ugly and not something you would wear in 2016, right? Hideous clothing like that is exactly what can make a good costume! Hawaiian shirts, brightly patterned sports jackets, plaid kilts with denim jackets; all of these things are visually unique and make your character stand out in a way that still remains comfortable for you as a player. You may have to swallow your pride  to be willing to wear the outfit to and from your event, but rest assured that visitors to your games will be talking about “that jerk in the denim overalls and a trilby” on their way back home.



Accessories add finishing touches to an outfit, and can really help differentiate a costume from an everyday outfit.

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That’s one magical outfit! …I’m so sorry.


Accessories come in many forms and can help flexibly flavor your character’s outfit. Jewelry such as piercings, rings, necklaces, earrings, and bracelets can add flair and help portray your character’s personal style or their wealth and status.  Trinkets also make common gifts, so a simple ring can represent deep connections or secrets to those paying close enough attention. Doing makeup and styling your hair for the character can be another great way for the character to express themselves and help you really get into their headspace, since your own reflection will be altered. Something as small as wearing eyeliner and lipstick and putting your hair up can drastically change your appearance! You can sometimes find a friend who is skilled enough to put makeup on for you if you lack the know how, and there are tons of tutorials online that help you achieve certain looks, from film noir dame to goth rocker and everywhere in between.


Have Fun and Get Wild

The right mix of clothing, style and accessorization can transform you into your character quite easily. You can go from this:

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Joanna Smith, who works in an office downtown

…to this:

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Roxy Wake, who sings in a club uptown

…in just a matter of minutes! Swapping out your personal look for your character’s style can keep  you in character and make your character memorable in a positive way in the minds of other players and characters at the game. You may even discover that some of the things you pick out for your character to wear end up transferring over to your personal wardrobe once the character leaves play, or even  discover how good you look in a certain color or style of clothing.

Remember these tips next time you costume and don’t forget to look awesome!


Anna is an avid LARPer, and on weekend when she isn’t being a vampire she treks out to the woods to beat up her friends with assorted plumbing supplies and birdseed. Outside of LARP Anna is a feminist and part of the LGBTQ* community, and is the proud owner of two loving cats, and another that’s kind of mean but loves her anyway (probably). She can be found on Twitter at